Where to begin? I’ve been wanting to start this blog for years. I’ve had such grand ideas about what it was going to be, who it was going to inspire. It was going to launch me into the stratosphere of the bloggers on the net – people would seek me out for my opinions, insights, my keen perspectives on the issue of the day. But today – I just want to document what is hopefully a change that is going to save my life. If anyone reads this – great. If no one reads this – great. This is for no one else but me.

Here’s the impetus: I’m very unhappy with certain aspects of my life. Today I’m 216.5 lbs, 30% body fat, 32 BMI. I moved to San Francisco exactly 14 years ago (give or take a day) and I was around 165. That’s a 51lb increase. When I graduated high school, I was 125 lbs. That’s a 91 lb increase. How did I get here? Eating whatever I wanted (the classic American diet of processed foods) and basic sloth. I’ve had 5 surgeries in the last 7 years – three for kidney stones, one for a small mass on my thyroid, and most recently I had my left adrenal gland removed because there was a mass in it causing a condition called Conn’s Syndrome. Enough preexisting conditions to not allow me to get insurance if I were on my own (well, not any more, thank you Mr. President!).

I’ve tried weight watchers, reboot your life, OA, just read “Body Confidence”, “Fit2Fat2Fit,” and a myriad of other books. I’ve gone to fasting spas for long weekends, I’ve vowed every day to change my life. But nothing’s really happening.

Years ago I heard of the “Legend of the Koi.” In a nutshell it states that a koi, if it is strong enough, and has enough perseverance to swim up the Yellow River in Japan, will find at the river’s mouth a waterfall. If that koi can make it up the waterfall, the gods will grant it with the gift of enlightenment, and transform it into a glorious dragon. This story resonates with me on so many levels. So much so, that I began a tattoo project back in 2007 to have a school of koi spiraling up my leg, and up my back to the opposite shoulder, where they would turn into a dragon. Right now, I have gotten all the way up my left leg, halfway there. I stopped because I figured I don’t want to have any more ink on the body I have now – I’m too ashamed of the body I have to let anyone see the work.

So, what is the goal of this blog? I think the name of the site says it all: koi2dragon. This is my journey of swimming up that proverbial river, up that waterfall, and reaching enlightenment. The idea has been sitting in my mind for years, and now it’s time to start making that idea into something real. To put myself out there into the ‘universe’ so to speak to see what comes of it.

So, I guess this koi senses that there is something better in life, and is starting to swim up the river.